Everyone copes with grief intheir own way. Some feel numb, while others are overwhelmed byemotions. Noone’s pain ismore valid than another’s, yet young people’s feelings are sometimes overlooked.
That’s what happened when ateenage girl was mourning her father’s death. Rather than allowing her time togrieve, her stepmother asked her tocare for her son, ignoring the girl’s emotional needs. And stepmother’s rude request backfired. Here’s astory told bythe 18-year-old girl onReddit, indetails.
Ateenager turned toReddit with her heartbreaking and dramatic story, seeking for people’s opinions and support.
Funerals are hard onthe deceased’s loved ones, but things can become even more painful ifpeople make rough comments oract inanappalling way. This isexactly what happened toan18-year-old girl.
The OPshared, (Edited byBright Side) “I(18F) lost mydad 3weeks ago. Hewas mybest friend, mysafe place, and honestly the only parent who really gotme. Iwas wrecked.
Then, 15minutes before the service, mystepmother approaches meand casually says, asifnothing happened, ‘Hey, could you just keep aneye onAdam? He’s having ahard time, andI want tobeable tofocus ongreeting people.’”
The young woman explained, “Mymom and Iare... strained, and she divorced him whenI was 10. Heremarried whenI was13, and his wife ‘Stacy’ (40sF) came with her own son, Adam (9Mnow). Tobereal, Inever bonded with them.
Stacy always treated melike aguest inmyown dad’s house, and Adam was aspoiled little tornado. Mydad tried tomake itwork, butI mostly avoided going over onceI hit 16. Wewere closer one-on-one anyway.”
The OP’s stepmother didn’t care much about her feelings and was acting selfishly during the funeral.
The OPshared, “Iwas wrecked. I’d spent the night before writing aeulogy and crying myeyes out. Iwas trying tohold ittogether inblack heels and waterproof mascara.”
The OPwas obviously shocked bythis selfish request. She wrote, (Edited byBright Side), “Ithought she was joking. But no. Mystepmother wantedme, the daughter ofthe dead man, tobabysit her son soshe could socialize like itwas some brunch event.
Isaidno. Politely atfirst. She pushed. Iliterally lost itand saidno, more firmly. She got huffy and whispered, ‘You know, you’re not the only one who lost someone.’”
Itwas the last straw, and the teen exploded, giving away all her real feelings about the situation.
The OPshared, “Isnapped. Isaid, ‘You lost ahusband offive years. Ilost the man who raised memyentire life. You dothe math.’ She gasped likeI slapped her and stormed off. Later, atthe reception, she told mymom and other relatives what Isaid, and now half the family iscalling me‘selfish’ and ‘immature.’
Myaunt even said I‘traumatized Adam’ because apparently heoverheardus and cried. Ifeel bad for the kid, Ido. But Iwas grieving too. Ididn’t think itwas myjob toparent her child whenI was barely keeping ittogether myself.
So, amI wrong here?”
Redditors rushed tothe comments section toshare their emotional opinions.
One person wrote, “You’re not wrong. There were aunts and uncles. When wewere kids, wepretty much grouped upwith cousins atfunerals.
Itwould beadifferent ifshe asked you towatch him while she went tothe bathroom orsomething, maybe even agroup deciding totake shifts. Saying watch him while Iam atthe greeting line for 2hours, no, that’s unreasonable. She should have had asitter for him.”
Another user said, “Why would a9-year-old, inacrowd ofrelatives, need ababysitter? And why couldn’t one ofhis grandparents watch him? Was hegoing toplay with matches orrun into traffic?
All the relatives piling onwith their unsolicited advice (atleast from you) isutterly inappropriate. You are grieving deeply, and anything else istoo much.
OP, you are right. Itwill take ayear before you feel like you’re not underwater orhave abig towel wrapped around your head. The first 18months after myhusband died, Itripped and fell somany timesI lost count. Ibroke 3toes and 2bones inmyhand— all inseparate falls, all becauseI didn’t look down tosee the curb, hose, rock, box orwhatever was infront ofme.
Don’t let one single person tell you how togrieve and truly beasurvivor. You never ’get over it’. You becomeOP, who lost her dad in2025, but carries onbecause that’s what weall doeventually. May your beloved father rest inpeace, and may you live inpeace.”
One more person added, “Wow. The request was incredibly disrespectful. Itwas either thoughtless orintended tominimize ordemean you. Itgave norespect toyour grief and offered nosupport. Ick.
You’re not wrong for that response, especially considering the circumstances. Sosorry for your loss.”
And here’s another drama inablended family where Stepmom Tells 10-Year-Old toGet Out ofFamily Picture, Dad Reacts inaPowerful Way.
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